I am falling into depression...

I was in Florence for the last two days for an interview with a very
popular sport brand looking for agents to do demos at gyms, shops and
so on.

They called me on Tuesday evening and asked me to go to the 2-days
convention in Florence. Of course I do not believe in these things but
a friend of mine from Bologna told me that they asked her about a
person who could do the job and she referred me. So they called me
based on the good reputation and I was told that I would have met
someone else but the job would have been mine, unless Act of God!

I was there and I saw that the atmosphere was not so friendly towards
me and even the person that called me looked very odd. He was English,
in his early 30's, pretty unfit for the job he should do and rather
ignorant of the business we work in.

Cutting short. After days of travel and hotel, I have been rejected on
the grounds of bad references! They called me here in Tuscany for good
references and rejected me on bad ones! Why the hell they called me?

I hate myself and what I am becoming and I find life to be too much
for me, it is becoming hard to get up and find a reason to live.

I got no reasons, none whatsoever... Gay, spinster, isolated from my
family, no friends, no proper job, no love, no nothing...