3 days have gone

and the two guys are on each other's nerves.

I read Flavio's diary last night and he says that he is starting hating Bonnie but despite that he still feels this strong sexual and affective attraction towards her. In his blog he writes a line or two every couple of days, in his diaries, he writes pages every single night. He fantasises about having sex with her, traveling with her, romantic dinners, sex in the alleys and so on. This attraction has started at a very young age. I am not sure when because the diaries do not start so early but, I assume, during their teenage years.

He hates having to live with her. He is pretending that this is a fantasy he is living and this is just a trial they are doing to check compatibilities before they get married. People's brain is a mystery. He makes up things in such a way to justify any of his actions. He is one who is always right, in his diary, and even events reported during the last months have been changed to suit him. I never thought that Flavio could be like that.

He talks pretty well about me even if, in his story, I am a male trying to take Bonnie away from him. He seems to admire me but, nevertheless, he wishes me all sort of disgraces. I think that he has written some of his pages after things have happened because he takes pride of having foreseen things that have effectively happened and that he claims he has informed Bonnie or me before.

What I find very particular about his story is the fact that Mario is not there at all. I mean, if you write a diary, because it is clearly a diary, not a story, put Mario in somewhere: it's far too clear that Bonnie and Mario are the same person.

When he talks about sex and describes his sex encounters, he concentrate most on his body rather than the girls he sleeps with and there are many contradictions about his body description. This makes me think that he goes mainly with men and he does it when he is not in Rome. Even in Copenhagen he slept with two girls. most names he uses are clearly names of men changed into girls' ones. He is an interesting character, I must admit and I would love to talk to him openly but I cannot.

Mario, in the meantime is being very quiet and he is suffering a lot. They barely talk to each other and when Flavio is not around he keeps asking me what I find in Flavio that he doesn't have. My answer is the usual one "nothing".

They would like to go out for Christmas Eve but I told them that we will be staying at home and I will prepare a Neapolitan dinner. they do not seem to keen in staying at home with each other's and Flavio hinted at the possibility of going to his parents country house. Mario was happy, thinking that we would have been left aloe but Flavio clarified that he meant that the three of us would have gone there. I refused.

I got my plan for Christmas: Neapolitan dinner and English style piss up! both the guys don't seem to hold the alcohol too well and I am looking forward to see both of them lost in the wine, beer, grappa, champagne and vodka that I am planning to drink that night.

I know I might sound really nasty and, honestly, I don't care!

Luigi, sorry I am not writing back to you but I don't see what I have to say to you: this is my nature, it;'s the way I am and, don't worry about me, I will come out of it, clean and without any sense of guilt.