the weekend...

was very nice. I spent it thinking a lot and understanding a thing or
two. in life you are what you think of yourself and I think I am a
perfect nobody, these days and this reflects my being. I had started a
nice story with a woman I liked a lot and after a few days I fucked
everything up because I wanted exclusivity, after she offered me great
time, luxury and even a place to stay, in exchange of... nothing
really.. she has everything she wants and what she doesn't have she
can easily get. I am so stupid!

I sent a few emails out this weekend. One to Anneka, apologising about
my absurd behaviour and asking her to forgive me but not to keep in
touch anymore because I would feel bad about it. I just sent a mail to
Mario, apologising for not having answered to his invitation to go to
France with him. i sent a mail to Flavio, hoping that he is doing well
in NYC and I wrote a message to Romano, apologising for the way I have
treated him and thanking him for the hospitality of these months and
for the job.

I have to sort out just the accommodation now and perhaps I got a
solution, in San Giovanni, with a gay guy I know. He is a nice person
and I am sure we can live well together. I haven't seen the place yet
but it should be ok.

I went out last night and I met a nice girl. it was nice flirting
again and have some sex. she was much younger than me and a much nicer
body. But there was something odd in having sex with her... i cannot
explain but I felt as if I were with someone else, not with her. But I
am not in love so I don't know who this someone else could be.

Hot, is hot guys... too hot in Rome, even at this time is too warm and
my football team, Napoli, is losing, undeservedly, with Palermo.

Catch later. Good night!